Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Ok, I'm going to try this again.

Alright, I'm going to try some more of the blogging stuff. I'm going to branch out a little bit more I think, talk about more things.

Sometimes I feel like I have really inappropriate emotional reactions to things. Strange things (images, parts of stories, news) will make be inordinately sad. For example, I was looking through the blog Sexy People and I found this picture (which has been reposted in a couple other places too):

Alright, so I am aware that the concept of that blog is funny. A lot of the other pictures on that site were making me laugh. But for some reason this picture was different. These guys (who look like brothers to me) looked so earnestly happy and proud that I because really sad thinking that someone was laughing at them. These look like nice guys and I am honest to god tearing up right now thinking about how mean it is that they are probably being made fun of without them knowing it, when all they wanted to do was to take a picture together to give to their mom or something.

Before you go off on me and tell me how sensitive and weird I am, let me point out to you that I am aware of how stupid and really strange my behavior is. I'm not going to rally against this blog, like I said, I thought all of it was funny except, for some strange reason, this picture. I am trying to understand why I behave this way seemingly out of the blue. (Don't even try to blame it on hormones either, its not the time for that)

Here's another example: In the book The Grapes of Wrath, the chapter where Steinbeck describes the two gas stations had me bawling. The yellow paint? I couldn't handle myself. Not any of the other sad parts in the book upset me nearly as much as that part. And I'm not a book-crier either, so I don't know what is going on in my head.

I guess I should study my reaction to things more. Why do I feel the way I feel? What triggers emotional response, anyway?

Edit: when I looked at the blog again, I saw a few others that made me a little sad too. But maybe I'm just in the mood now. These look like nice people. I mostly get my kicks out of laughing at jerks, not nice people. Still, this one is pretty good. And in general, Olan Mills-type portraiture cracks me up. This stuff is funny. And yet, I fear I'm turning into one of those ladies that complains about people's feelings getting hurt. Save me from that, please.


Aurore said...

I totally know what you are talking about! I have a similar reaction to such things, it seems to really upset me sometimes. But then conversly, when I am hurt by someone I will go out of my way to make fun of them. I could give you examples. It's not nice. But I did want you to know that you are not alone in this. I have a real defense mechanism that kicks in when someone does something innocent and gets laughed at. I want to cream the mocker.

- said...

I totally understand this too, sometimes it makes me sad if I'm at a thrift store or something and I see a neglected stuffed animal that no one will ever buy and I think about it lying in the basket for months until someone throws it out, it's especially heartbreaking if it's ugly or pitiful in some way.