I haven't written in a while, obviously. I'd almost given up on this while blog thing, I didn't feel like I was making a very good contribution. To be honest, I was getting frustrated by art making, and scared, too. There were some things I didn't want to think about, so I just stopped thinking about art for a while, but then I just became miserable.
Sometimes I get really worried-- How will I survive doing what I do? How will having a degree in art help me out at all? Will I be able to stay happy this way?
And there are more questions: Am I good enough? How do I get people to pay attention to my work? I want to be in shows but I have no idea how to get my work there, and in this business that so centers on who you know, I know no one.
These are all things I can never really get myself to come out and say to other people. I guess it is mostly from pride, I don't want to admit to anyone that at times I am terrified that I will fail. I want to do well, and I love creating and the discovery that is within that, but lately I'm been very concerned about my potential for success.
This sounds so whiny, but I feel like everyone is doing better than me at this. What does it take? How do I do this?
In other, non-whiny news, a customer at the camera store I work at gave me her broken camera, and it takes pictures like this:
That's because the light sensor inside the camera is broken, but I kind of like what it does. I secretly call it my magical realism camera, although it really is nothing like that. I mostly want to make Achewood references on the internet. I was thinking that a series of self-portraits might be fun with this.
Also, because the economy kind of sucks, people have been buying fewer cameras, so we end up doing things like this:
That is because we are productive, intelligent young people. The promise of tomorrow is in us! (Those are film canisters and that is Justin, btw)