Thursday, July 3, 2008

Things These Days

leef-6

Lately I've been taking quite a few pictures of leaves. Basically, it is the only thing I have been shooting.

leef-7

Well, I've been trying to shoot other things, but the only things that I end up liking are these leaves. I feel like this is a subject matter that could quickly turn boring to the viewer, but to me it is an endless source of fascination. When I take these up-close images it is like I'm exploring this new landscape no one has seen before. I know that's not really true, but hell, I've never seen this kind of thing before.

leef-9

I always try to figure out why I'm drawn to certain things. For a while it was making images transparent (I'm still into that), and then there were all the bugs, and now these leaves. I guess it all started when I went through a time when I would photograph nothing but trees. I get suck in these modes, but I've made good work from all of them so I guess it isn't a bad thing at all.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

I shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to

I haven't written in a while, obviously. I'd almost given up on this while blog thing, I didn't feel like I was making a very good contribution. To be honest, I was getting frustrated by art making, and scared, too. There were some things I didn't want to think about, so I just stopped thinking about art for a while, but then I just became miserable.

Sometimes I get really worried-- How will I survive doing what I do? How will having a degree in art help me out at all? Will I be able to stay happy this way?

And there are more questions: Am I good enough? How do I get people to pay attention to my work? I want to be in shows but I have no idea how to get my work there, and in this business that so centers on who you know, I know no one.

These are all things I can never really get myself to come out and say to other people. I guess it is mostly from pride, I don't want to admit to anyone that at times I am terrified that I will fail. I want to do well, and I love creating and the discovery that is within that, but lately I'm been very concerned about my potential for success.

This sounds so whiny, but I feel like everyone is doing better than me at this. What does it take? How do I do this?

---

In other, non-whiny news, a customer at the camera store I work at gave me her broken camera, and it takes pictures like this:

magical realism camera

That's because the light sensor inside the camera is broken, but I kind of like what it does. I secretly call it my magical realism camera, although it really is nothing like that. I mostly want to make Achewood references on the internet. I was thinking that a series of self-portraits might be fun with this.

Also, because the economy kind of sucks, people have been buying fewer cameras, so we end up doing things like this:

eyeballs-6

That is because we are productive, intelligent young people. The promise of tomorrow is in us! (Those are film canisters and that is Justin, btw)